The Families

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Baby Alfonso

Baby Alfonso ^|^ – Son of Laura and Marcello Mongiovi

I am writing after losing my precious baby boy to this unheard of and unknown condition.  I am tired and exhausted.  So is my dear husband. But its a blessing to see such a website dedicated to this unforgivable and cruel “disease”.  It has been 5 weeks and 1 day since our beautiful baby boy Alfonso was born….it is also the day he passed away aged just 22 minutes. The day today is dull and raining, unlike the beautiful sunny day it was when I went into labour. Here is our story.

I found out I was pregnant on Sunday 23rd October 2005 it was around 9am. I knew I was before the test was done. I was 5 weeks late and “felt different”. I did the test and climbed back into bed with Marcello my husband, before the 3 minutes were up you could see a strong blue line appearing….we were both overjoyed and lay in bed cuddling. We had been married 3 months and our lives were to be complete. The next 40 weeks passed so quickly. I had such a good pregnancy, Alfonso was a joy to carry, he never gave me any problems whatsoever. I loved being pregnant, I now miss being pregnant terribly.


Exactly 40 weeks later almost to the second my waters broke all over our new mattress. Marcello was so excited…I was nervous though but I rang the hospital and by the time we arrived almost 40 minutes later I had relaxed and just wanted to be seen and admitted as I didn’t want to go back home only to come back in. I was taken into an examination room at 9.50am and was put on the monitor so we could both hear his heartbeat which was fine so was my BP and mini contractions. I wasn’t in any pain or discomfort just hot and thirsty as it was a very hot June morning. I was asked to sit up as Alfonso wasn’t moving but I wasn’t concerned as he wasn’t a morning baby but as soon as I sat up and had some water he started moving. As the midwife collected her things together to examine me I was left on the monitor a total of 40 minutes. Everything was fine. As she went to examine me she noticed a tiny spot of blood, within seconds though her expression changed and she called in a colleague who then proceeded to shout into the corridor to get a bed to wheel me to theatre. I looked at this point and the amount of blood was horrific and turned into even more as I stepped off the bed and onto the other one to take me to theatre. I didn’t panic. It was so strange, I knew it wasn’t me bleeding to death and I knew my baby was dying, I cannot tell you the feeling of powerless felt. I believe that was my maternal gut instinct preparing me for what was about to happen. Most of the things that happened next is a huge blur. I was wheeled at breakneck speed into theatre and can remember my poor husband running behind the trolley shouting my name and asking if i was ok. I could tell everyone was terribly worried, they thought it was my blood loss and they had to get the baby out ASAP. Within seconds of arriving in theatre there were people everywhere. I was numb and in shock. Marcello pulled frantically at my necklace to take it off and I remember him kissing my forehead and telling me he loved me. I know I told an anesthetist my blood group as I think they were preparing to give me a transfusion my notes I presume were still downstairs as it all happened so quickly. I was told to drink a special drink as two nurses were trying to but a drip in each hand. I tried to say “please don’t let my baby die” but no words would come out “This wasn’t supposed to happen” I remember thinking I just simply couldn’t believe I was about to have an emergency c-section……seconds later the oxygen mask was on my face and the needle to put me to sleep was inserted into my hand….I remember everyone’s voices going further away….and amongst all the panic I felt suddenly at peace and very relaxed. All that happened within 5-10 minutes.

“We couldn’t save your sons life, I am so very very sorry” were the first words I heard when I started to wake. The voice, so soft and calm, gave me the answer to the question that I asked as soon as I opened my eyes.  However its almost like I knew the answer already. I was too drugged up to cry but remember thinking…”oh no it was a boy”, Marcello wanted a son so much I just nodded and went back to sleep. The next face I saw was my husband’s, tear stained and looking so painfully hurt. My family came in next, 13 other sad faces everyone in total shock that it had happened. I lay there as my mom held my hand. Apparently I said to her, “its ok Alfonso is with Grandy now” (my Grandad died in February); however I was so high on morphine for some reason I can remember certain things and not others.

I held my beautiful perfect son some time later. Marcello had waited for us to see him together. He was placed in my arms, Marcello sobbed and sobbed. I just looked down at my beautiful son’s face adoringly. Emotions flooded through me, mostly though it was pure love, a natural maternal instinct. He just looked fast asleep. I cannot remember the rest of that day, its a total blur. It wasn’t until the next day that I was told what had happened. The consultant had only seen 2 previous cases.

I stayed in hospital for 4 nights. Marcello stayed in the room with me. We had our own bathroom and kitchen, it was very private. Every night Alfonso stayed with us in the room in a little moses basket. Two days after he was born he was blessed. All our close family stood in the room. It was very moving but very important. I couldn’t believe though that this was happening to us. In the space of four years our families had had 5 deaths. Marcello’s family had 3 in six months. We lost my Grandad in February, now Alfonso. He was so needed and wanted by us all. Alfonso’s life was 22 minutes. None of us saw him alive. We never heard a cry and never saw him open his eyes or wiggle his fingers and toes. Yet we do feel blessed to have had such a beautiful baby boy. He was perfect, like an angel….who knows maybe he is one now. I do hope he is not far away. We both miss him so much that it hurts, the house at times feels so empty. I wanted to be a mommy so much, I know that I am but our baby should have been at home with us. Yet he is buried in the babies’ garden at the local cemetery. I pray everyday that eventually we will have another baby.  This time they will come home with us. Alfonso will never ever be replaced, how can he be? But I would like him to have a little brother or sister. I pray that those prayers will be answered.

May God bless you always little man. We will love you for eternity. Mommy and Daddy xx

Written in memory of Alfonso Giovanni Charles Mongiovi
Came into this world 25th June 2006 @ 11.29am
Departed it peacefully 25th June 2006 @ 11.51am
His life a beautiful memory, his absence a silent grief